Secrets Between our Shadows and Our Souls

Secrets Between our Shadows and Our Souls

Surrounded by myself

and the tall summer’s grass

I lie still ____ and alone

listening to the songs of the earth.

I am crawling

through the underbrush

of what use to be us ____

and even though you are gone

the flowers remain.

I wanted more,

I always want more

my appetite exceeds my frame

and I spill out

into the visible world.

You knew I was insatiable

you tried to temper me

you were honest and kind

and as your friend said

‘you were always ‘present’ ____

but I was afraid, and

when you asked me what I believed in

I turned away.

( I believe ‘we have played along side

millions of lovers’)

Perhaps we were,

in some past life

mythological lovers ____

I think sometimes we ask

too much of one another.

____ and so what if love dies

over and over again.

(age after age

the words of the poet fall

from the past into the future,

an eternal song of desire

fueled by the ‘perfect moment’.

For now _____

my heart sings to the poppies

as they cast their shadows upon my spine

____ I call out to you____

you see me in this dream:

I ask you to return my heart to my body

so that I might feel again.

(God it is so humbling to be alive

and sometimes I am so afraid my heart

will break into a thousand pieces.)

In this fragmented dream

you whisper to me ____

through the fields and the forest

kissing my rough hands:

____the hands made strong

by bronze, by pencil and by ink.

(My body stretches out to  reach you

extended into this landscape

____ forever.)

Is all of this life

a magical illusion?

When my eyes are closed

I feel you making love to me

but then ____ the memories shift

and I am moving slowly in my garden

envisioning human suffering

trying to remember your touch.

Maybe it is the poetry

that saves me,

____ or perhaps the sun, this field, the forest or the moon.

For now I allow myself

to feel the beauty of pain ____

to speak truth

and to taste the flowers that seep into my veins.

I still love you

you made me feel alive

____ and the lord of darkness

reminded me that

nothing can hurt me

if I let go of everything that gives me pleasure.

You gave me breath

honesty and love

but I am not certain

of spellbound hearts

and

everything is so temporary ____

We are all in movement

on our way to the unknown.

(Love is the ‘why’ of life.)

I lost you,

now I love another ____

the one who gives fire to my soul,

but still

I crawl through the fields at night

beneath the goddess of love

and silently

I crave you.

These are the secrets

between our shadows and our souls.