Secrets Between our Shadows and Our Souls

Secrets Between our Shadows and Our Souls

October 30, 2022

Surrounded by myself
and the tall summer’s grass
I lie still ____ and alone
listening to the songs of the earth.
I am crawling
through the underbrush
of what use to be us ____
and even though you are gone
the flowers remain.
I wanted more,
I always want more
my appetite exceeds my frame
and I spill out
into the visible world.
You knew I was insatiable
you tried to temper me
you were honest and kind
and as your friend said
‘you were always ‘present’ ____
but I was afraid, and
when you asked me what I believed in
I turned away.
( I believe ‘we have played along side
millions of lovers )
Perhaps we were,
in some past life
mythological lovers ____
I think sometimes we ask
too much of one another.
____ and so what if love dies
over and over again.
( age after age
the words of the poet fall
from the past into the future,
an eternal song of desire
fueled by the ‘perfect moment'. )
For now _____
my heart sings to the poppies
as they cast their shadows upon my spine
____ I call out to you____
you see me in this dream:
I ask you to return my heart to my body
so that I might feel again.
(God it is so humbling to be alive
and sometimes I am so afraid my heart
will break into a thousand pieces.)
In this fragmented dream
you whisper to me ____
through the fields and the forest
kissing my rough hands:
____the hands made strong
by bronze, by pencil and by ink.
(My body stretches out to reach you
extended into this landscape
____ forever.)
Is all of this life
a magical illusion?
When my eyes are closed
I feel you making love to me
but then ____ the memories shift
and I am moving slowly in my garden
envisioning human suffering
trying to remember your touch.
Maybe it is the poetry
that saves me,
____ or perhaps the sun, this field, the forest or the moon.
For now I allow myself
to feel the beauty of pain ____
to speak truth
and to taste the flowers that seep into my veins.
I still love you
you made me feel alive
____ and the lord of darkness
reminded me that
nothing can hurt me
if I let go of everything that gives me pleasure.
You gave me breath
honesty and love
but I am not certain
of spellbound hearts
and
everything is so temporary ____.
We are all in movement
on our way to the unknown.
( Love is the ‘why’ of life. )
I lost you,
now I love another ____
the one who gives fire to my soul,
but still
I crawl through the fields at night
beneath the goddess of love
and silently
I crave you.
These are the secrets
between our shadows and our souls.
© Gesso Cocteau
Poem from 'Stranded Hearts'
Updated Release Date February 2023
Poetry © Gesso Cocteau
Illustrations Pete Berg


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