Secrets Between Our Shadows and Our Souls
Secrets Between Our Shadows and Our Souls
Surrounded by myself
and the tall summer’s grass
I lie still ____ and alone
listening to the songs of the earth.
I am crawling
through the underbrush
of what use to be us ____
and even though you are gone
the flowers remain.
I wanted more,
I always want more
my appetite exceeds my frame
and I spill out
into the visible world.
You knew I was insatiable
you tried to temper me
you were honest and kind
and as your friend said
‘you were always ‘present’ ____
but I was afraid, and
when you asked me what I believed in
I turned away.
( I believe ‘we have played along side
millions of lovers’)
Perhaps we were,
in some past life
mythological lovers ____
I think sometimes we ask
too much of one another.
____ and so what if love dies
over and over again.
(age after age
the words of the poet fall
from the past into the future,
an eternal song of desire
fueled by the ‘perfect moment’.
For now _____
my heart sings to the poppies
as they cast their shadows upon my spine
____ I call out to you____
you see me in this dream:
I ask you to return my heart to my body
so that I might feel again.
(God it is so humbling to be alive
and sometimes I am so afraid my heart
will break into a thousand pieces.)
In this fragmented dream
you whisper to me ____
through the fields and the forest
kissing my rough hands:
____the hands made strong
by bronze, by pencil and by ink.
(My body stretches out to reach you
extended into this landscape
____ forever.)
Is all of this life
a magical illusion?
When my eyes are closed
I feel you making love to me
but then ____ the memories shift
and I am moving slowly in my garden
envisioning human suffering
trying to remember your touch.
Maybe it is the poetry
that saves me,
____ or perhaps the sun, this field, the forest or the moon.
For now I allow myself
to feel the beauty of pain ____
to speak truth
and to taste the flowers that seep into my veins.
I still love you
you made me feel alive
____ and the lord of darkness
reminded me that
nothing can hurt me
if I let go of everything that gives me pleasure.
You gave me breath
honesty and love
but I am not certain
of spellbound hearts
and
everything is so temporary ____
We are all in movement
on our way to the unknown.
(Love is the ‘why’ of life.)
I lost you,
now I love another ____
the one who gives fire to my soul,
but still
I crawl through the fields at night
beneath the goddess of love
and silently
I crave you.
These are the secrets
between our shadows and our souls.
Poetry and Art © Gesso Cocteau
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